Viet Nam before 1900 was very strictly in marriage. Even some of couple they had no chance to know each other before their wedding day. Their parents will choose their children’s spouse through a match- maker. The procedure also is very complicate and has many steps. 1 - Lễ Nap Thai : Due to the Chinese traditional custom, after the parents of the young man and girl met and agreed for them to marry, the young’s man family will take a couple of “ Nhan” , a kind of birds to offer to girl’s family. Due to the legend, these birds are very loyal and never “ get married “ again in the whole life. They share foods and take care of each other. If one of them died, the others will die because of sadness. Chinese people also use a couple of goose replaced for this kind of bird. The goose is also known as a very loyal couple. 2 - Lễ Vấn Danh: The young man’s representative will come to ask for the young girl’s name, age and if she is still available. 3 - Lễ Nạp Cát: Now is time to offer things to bride’ family. Depend on their ability. 4 - Lễ Nạp Chưng: More offer things from the groom’s family. It should be the material, treasure things as a proof for the engagement. 5 - Lễ Thỉnh Kỳ: The groom’s family will decide a time and date for the wedding then come to the bride’s family for asking an agreement. 6 - Lễ Thân Nghinh: At that date, the groom’s family and their relatives and friends will come to the bride’s house to take her home. Vietnam Teenagers and Traditional Weddings

The tradition of matchmaking has largely faded. Nowadays, most of parents understand the current society and give their child the right to choose their life partner.  The development of economy changed the society and old generation attitude. The teenagers go out and work in the same condition that they can find their right person for marriage.  The girl does not care much about the age as previous decades. They think about the understanding each other and a stable couple life in the future, mental and physical side. It takes long time maybe years for them to understand before decided to get married.  When they decide to get married, they will let their parents or their representative person ( in case they are orphanages). Their parents will arrange for their wedding.  Actually, the Vietnamese wedding’s procedure nowadays is much simple than before and depend on the life ability.

Arranging the marriage Before announcing for the marriage, both of families of young man and girl ( often is the young man’s family) consult a fortune- teller to see if that couple can have a good couple life together based on their birthday. The fortune –teller will try to find the best date and time for their wedding ceremony.  The representative of young man ( that may his parents or relatives or old person who has a happy couple life) will lead his family to the young girl house as to visit and getting to know each other. At the same day, they also can talk about the plan for their child’s marriage and about the gifts that the young man’ family should offer on the engagement day and on the wedding day. The engagement  On the engagement day, the groom’s parents and their relative will go to the bride’s house for meeting all of the bride’s relatives. The gifts offer often is a couple of wine; couple of tea box; betel leaves and areca nut ( see more about this in Viet Nam Culture: The story about betel and areca nut) ; cake, “ phu the” ( that is a special kind of cake for wedding day, the words “ Phu The” mean “ husband and wife” ), a roasted pig, material or dress for the bride, jewelry, a sum of money...  The bride’s relative will gather at her house. They sit together in front of the ancestor altar. After praying to their ancestor, the representative of the groom’s family will show all the gifts and asking for the bride’s hand. The bride’s relatives also give their gift to the bride on that day then they will have party together at the bride house.

The wedding day:

The final stage is the wedding day. The day before the wedding day, the bride’s relative will gather at the bride’s house. They enjoy foods, wine and greetings to the bride. The mother’s of the bride or an old an honest person will give her the advice how to treat with her husband’s parents, with their relative , with her future husband ; how to be a good daughter-in – law at her new home. On the big day, the bride’s family and invited guests assemble at her house to await the arrival of the bridegroom. “ The groom’s parents and immediate relatives are preceded by an odd number of young men smartly dressed in shirt and tie, and dark trousers. They each carry a tray covered in a red cloth, or alternatively a large red and gold canister, containing gifts of betel leaves, areca nuts, wine, fruit, cakes, tea and so on. The gift depend on their life ability and the agreement between both families but the tray of wine and betel and areca nut is requested as well as the couple of ring should be offering. In the past, they would have walked, but today most wedding parties opt for cars. Red is the dominant colour in a traditional Vietnamese wedding – it’s considered a lucky colour and will lead to a rosy future. Upon arrival the young men dismount and are met by the same number of young women dressed in red ao dais. The men hand the gifts to the women who take them inside. Each young woman hands her male counterpart a small amount of money to designate that they are ‘working’ – there is a superstition that being an unpaid helper at a wedding will mean that you won’t marry. “ Source : vietnam-culture.com

The ceremony:

The wedding ceremony begins in front of the altar. The bride and the groom kneel down and pray, asking their ancestors' permission to be married and their blessing on their family-to-be. The couple then turn around and bow to the bride's parents to thank them for raising and protecting her since birth. They then bow their heads towards each other to show their gratitude and respect to their soon-to-be husband or wife. The Master of Ceremonies then advises the wedding couple on starting a new family and the two sets of parents take turns to share their experiences and give blessings. The groom and the bride then exchange wedding rings, and the parents give the newly wedded couple gold bracelets, earrings and other valuable gifts.

The wedding banquet:

After the marriage, both wedding parties leave to join guests that were not invited to the marriage ceremony at a large banquet. This is usually a large gathering, often in the hundreds and sometimes more. The groom, bride, and their family are once again introduced to the guests and everyone drinks a toast. Dinner or lunch is served at the table. During the reception, the groom, bride, and their parents visit each table to thank their guests. In return, the guests give envelopes containing wedding cards, money gifts anda blessing to the newly wedded couple. After the banquet, the groom’s party and the bride leave for the groom’s house, where she will live. Later, the bride’s party follows to inspect the accommodation - particularly the marital.